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[Applause]

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oh let's see um i'll get some let's see

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what we got here that's joe news what's

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joe news doing in here it's confusing me

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what am i doing

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um let's see so got some uh

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let's go here all right so we got what

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about pollution causing your junk to

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shrink

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oh really the ukrainians upset that the

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uh all those javelinas they're getting

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don't come with uh tech support okay

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yeah that's unfortunate i got a guy who

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loses his shoe so often he's getting his

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feet tattooed look like shoes

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that's an interview that's an innovative

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solution

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i've got people who fell into a

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chocolate tank at a chocolate factory

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that's some good news on that front that

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is some good news

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it sounds like a really really a willy

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wonky uh wonka problem

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here's an one related to an earlier

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story is a guy who uh caught a catfish

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and it's got a dildo in its stomach

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i love that headline

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or do you want sexy swedish trash cans

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oh boy um

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oh wait here's a yellow stone one about

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the uh a coloring book on all the ways

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you can die in yellowstone we know

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buffaloes

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geysers that's about it

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uh

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i'm curious about the chocolate

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people chocolate people that's what

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uh where is that one

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i got too much i got a scroll where did

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it go where's my chocolate story where's

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uh chocolate alligator actually i'm

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hungry why can't i find my chocolate

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story i just said it

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it was just there if there's no

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chocolate store then we can do the sexy

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um how am i not oh there it is

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i got too many news stories in here all

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right here we go

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let's see here bring us up on screen

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osha investigating after two employees

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were trapped in chocolate tank

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at mars wrigley factory in

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elizabethan town

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that's a huge piece of news it doesn't

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sound american to me but it's just

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elizabethtown pennsylvania oh

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elizabethtown

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uh oh this is okay this is

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right around the corner from us uh

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so occupational safety and health

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administration has opened an

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investigation in on an incident at the

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mars wrigley factory involving two

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employees being stuck in a tank of

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chocolate it sounds like a like in

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strange brew yesterday when these guys

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threw themselves in a tank of beer and

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had to drink their way out and and when

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they opened up the tank the one guy

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probably weighed uh 2 000 pounds because

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he was full of beer true story

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kevin chambers then he put out a fire

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don't forget then he peed out a fire

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uh kevin chambers area director for

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osha's uh harrisburg office said that

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the investigation could take up to six

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months

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uh and complementary chocolate to

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complete as he said he couldn't comment

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further since the investigation is

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ongoing osha was alerted on thursday by

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the pennsylvania emergency management

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more than two dozen emergency personnel

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responded to the mars wrigley factory in

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elizabethtown thursday shortly after 2

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pm after two employees got stuck in a

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tank of chocolate

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uh this mess reported that at the time

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that the while the two individuals were

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not floating around in a vat of

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chocolate officers had trouble getting

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them out

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i'm probably down there having a good

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time splashing chocolate on one another

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doing the backstroke i like how they

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said there's two dozen people responded

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most of which who immediately said i got

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to see this this is free chocolate you

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know when you every time you go to like

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the chocolate factory you want to see

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how the fudge is made and so like hey

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everything you walk in there

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everything's made out of chocolate

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chocolate urinals it's like willy wonka

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that's what i'm imagining take a bite

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out of the conference room table yeah

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they get why they get these guys in the

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vat some of that the fizzy lifting drink

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and then the that's what they did and

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then they just float out of the vat and

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then you pull them aside and they're all

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good

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uh rescue units had to cut a hole out of

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the bottom in order to free the

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employees according to dispatch how do

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they get stuck in there so one guy

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goes in i'm assuming one guy was goofing

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around and like was like sticking his

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leg in there's like hey you bet you

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don't think i'd jump in here

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and he fell in and then his buddy bob

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was like you [\h__\h]

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uh you're not going in alone and dove in

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head first i'm gonna save you

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i actually dropped his keys

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oh yeah maybe oh [\h__\h] my keys are in he

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dropped his phone one of the [\h__\h]

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probably dropped his phone in there

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that's probably what happened

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uh so the rest of you fell in and the

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other guys tried to get him out and then

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he fell in and the third guy should so

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by the time they got there's 27 people

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in that's the two dozen people they're

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all you can throw them down like a rope

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made out of licorice or something like

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don't give me a red vine or something

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throw me a lifesaver

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there you go that's how you do it but no

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both employees were transferred thursday

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afternoon to hospitals

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uh

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to the hospital in candyland i believe

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yeah what happened to you oh covered in

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chocolate one was transported by a

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helicopter according to dispatch

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uh so they were like actually encased in

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chocolate like hard shell you know like

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for ice cream oh like han solo yeah

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chirocarbonite

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uh we can confirm that both uh both

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external contractors have been taken

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off-site for further evaluation

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uh

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and probably interrogated by willy wonka

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willy wonka himself

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although this is a mars so it's

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completely different mascot

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now the factory has resumed normal

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operations but no

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other details were provided as a friday

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officials uh with the elizabeth

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elizabethtown fire department declined

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comment uh referring

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to uh the previous statement so

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everything's fine i wanna know what went

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down there how they got involved

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and what happened to the chocolate did

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they just sterilize it and continue to

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process that or did that get donated to

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homeless shelters yeah i could say that

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that's the discount chocolate you see at

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the grocery discount store yeah one

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dollar

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handful of chocolate

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10 pounds chocolate one dollar what's

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wrong with this chocolate oh maybe

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touched by some guy he was looking for

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something oh my god

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it was bathed in

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uh i mean interesting a little short on

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details but a fascinating story

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uh so let's see what else got here got

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uh i also have a county sheriff says

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don't touch money it'll kill you with

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meth

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uh we have michigan police having to

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clarify that an alligator wasn't

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actually driving the car during a car

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chase okay let's uh that's

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it that's the one all right i'll get

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this link into the carrot shop

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alligator wasn't driving during car

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chase michigan police say

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that's some good news on that front i'd

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be terrified he's probably not licensed

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to do so so that's good he's all over

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the road man

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an alligator was rescued by police

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after a car chase saturday the lake

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county sheriff's office tried to pull

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over a car driven on us 10 by 40 year

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old oak park man around 11 pm on

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june 11 the man was driving at a high

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rate of speed police said the driver

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fled uh the traffic stop and was pursued

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by deputies in law enforcement with

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michigan department of natural resources

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okay

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the chase ended when the car got stuck

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between two trees on the rails to trails

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path near south foreman road in weber

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township police said karen the alligator

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was a passenger in the car and tried to

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flee please said but was caught caught

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shortly after uh after a short scuffle

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karen is not facing any charges at this

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time police said but we believe she was

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an unwilling participant

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during the incident nor do uh nor do we

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believe she was ever in control

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of the vehicle

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all right look i have to clarify that uh

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yeah we don't think the alligator is

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actually driving but uh yeah

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the gator's fine

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we don't believe

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it was driving

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we don't know for sure gator don't play

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no [\h__\h]

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yeah gator don't plan you feel me yeah

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i see here the oak park man was arrested

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and is facing charges related to the

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chase he also has several warrants

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from another jurisdiction okay okay

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they've never been about that never

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never been about playing no [\h__\h]

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all right there's a uh there's video of

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the chase on that same page but it's a

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youtube or a youtube a facebook link

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which i think oh yeah i don't think i'm

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not logged in over here

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well i mean i hope karen the alligator

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uh

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can get to a new home or is released

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into the wild in michigan

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the natural habitat for alligators

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michigan yeah

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the racist question is how's the

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alligator got to michigan and i'm

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guessing by car but they're saying she

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wasn't actually driving so

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and look at this picture it's a pretty

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big gator you know it looks like a 30

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pounder

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probably can operate a stick shift if it

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wanted to

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probably not license to do double

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clutching but i'm not going to put a

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pastor to not drive an 18-wheeler you

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know we do have some trucking shortages

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going on in the uh

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northern cottons here so yeah i think

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there's a good future for it police

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later clarified uh the gator was driving

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but did not have a cdl all right gator

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don't play no [\h__\h]

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all right

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uh do you so it's not fast food related

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but you want to close out with some food

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related stuff yeah i think people like

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that okay people want

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to know i've got i've got donut pricing

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news or i've got

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uh i think

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because of the economy we got to go with

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donut pricing all right fair enough i

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think it's very uh economically uh

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reasonable to talk about this kind of

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thing people want to know about their

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okay you bring this up on screen right

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uh fuel up with krispy kreme oh yes fuel

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but krispy kreme

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it is the return of your favorite hump

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day activity beat the pump is coming

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back to krispy kreme that's some good

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news on that front i never knew this

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existed but so okay news to me but all

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right all right this is a new thing to

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know about uh we know everyone could use

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a little

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donut deflation to sweeten the recent

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pains at the pump

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so each wednesday through the summer

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driving season until labor day

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we're helping you fill your tank with

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original glazed donuts by pricing them

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at the cost of the national average

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of one

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gallon of regular gas

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is this a good deal or not i don't know

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that's i'm not sure about i mean how

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much is how much does a dozen krispy

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kreme donuts normally cost i don't know

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two yeah maybe four

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uh so the national average what is like

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507 five dollars

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and so what's your average dozen krispy

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kreme donuts

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i don't know

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it's like a dollar my guess is it's

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usually about five bucks so what they're

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saying is here this ties to the national

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average and you'll save a couple of

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cents sort of thing so now krispy kreme

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donuts is pegging themselves to the

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all right so we'll soon be we have a a

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petro slash donut economy

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all for it okay

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let's see putin beat this one

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uh prices will be updated weekly so

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check back each tuesday so it's a it's a

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fluxing price uh yes it's tied to the

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national average that could change you

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go up go down you could be paying more

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you could get be getting ripped off so

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if we could convince biden to flood the

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market with the national oil reserves we

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can drive down the price of donuts

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potentially i think we can do it

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uh that's good news

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uh

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funny too that the

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krispy kreme was notoriously the one

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like get the vaccine and we'll give you

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the donut ah now they're on the

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the oil train also by the way canadian

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shops are not participating

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okay oh i put that video in carrot shop

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i don't know what it is oh right around

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the corner for me uh columbus is

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participating out there polaris i know

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that

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also uh granville road i can go there i

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can buy

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uh dozens of donuts each day if i so

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choose at the national average of a

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gallon of gas or you could buy a gallon

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of gas or i could do that it would

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probably take me a gallon of gas to get

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there and back

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somehow you're losing money on this deal

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i'm i'm losing money on these donuts

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i thought i was gonna win

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so what we're really saying here is like

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uh we can't help you with gas prices so

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get fatter america

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[Music]

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get better so you can't go out yeah well

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you're you're you're going to have to

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drive but you can't

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and we're going to lock you in your home

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so you can't exercise yeah but we will

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give you a doughnut that you can't

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afford

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uh if you get the vaccine

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and by the way most people who catch

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covet have a co-morbidity of obesity of

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obesity right yeah and at no point

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other than on the alt media

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did anyone say oh by the way you should

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just exercise like joe rogan got in

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trouble for this like exercise eat well

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you know these cr i mean exactly krispy

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kreme lines completely up with let's get

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a thousand vaccines and let's make gas

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expensive let's do it [\h__\h] it give us an

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email at our bitcombo gmail.com

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check out